Breastfeeding and Sex
– an Oxymoron?

Hardly! Breastfeeding and sex can – and do – co-exist quite nicely together. There’s just a couple of things you should be prepared for.

First of all, you should know that breastfeeding should NOT be considered a foolproof form of birth control. Yes, it does interrupt or delay menstruation longer than if you are bottlefeeding, and it’s somewhat accurate up to six months after the birth; but even if you’re still celebrating Aunt Flo’s extended vacation, you could still be ovulating.

So, unless you’re ready for a sibling for your baby, make sure you’re using some other type of preventative measure! Your doctor can help you figure out which method is right for you, including birth control pills that are approved for breastfeeding – you can also check out my medications page to get a head start.

You’ve probably read that sex after pregnancy will be different– and this could certainly be true. You’re likely experiencing a lot of physical and emotional changes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing – don’t assume that your sex life is going down the drain after you give birth.

Without making you jump back from your computer and yell, “Ew, TMI!”, my husband and I found that things were actually better after the birth of our daughter. I somehow felt more confident, comfortable and mature postpartum, and now we’re having lots of fun. Breastfeeding and sex... no problem!

Ok, anyways! Back to the more practical stuff.

Pregnancy has a way of mentally taking us right back to our body-conscious teen years – after all, you look and probably feel very different. Please, please try to remember: YOU JUST GAVE BIRTH!!!

To repeat an oft-quoted statement, it took your body nine months to grow a baby, and it’s going to take at least nine months to get it back to your pre-pregnancy state – and there’s the possibility that it may be different in some way or shape from now on, and that’s okay. I hope you understand that, but if it helps, I also have some postpartum exercise tips that might help you feel better, both physically and emotionally.

When it comes to your breasts, your guy is probably dying to have some fun with them – but they might be extremely sensitive, especially in those first couple of weeks and months as you’re getting the hang of breastfeeding or dealing with things like sore nipples or clogged milk ducts. Or, you might feel differently about them than you did before – that is, having a hard time separating the new emotions you have in regards to your breasts: after all, they’re now both a source of pleasure for you and your husband, AND a source of food and comfort for your baby.

My advice is to take it slow, be blunt about what you do and don't want (he wants the direction!) and see what you and your husband are comfortable with. Experiment with different levels of touch and, um, involvement in your time together, and don’t be afraid to re-evaluate things every couple of weeks or months, as breastfeeding and sex...and your parenting roles progress.

Or hey, you could always print this page out and leave it on his pillow!

Now, what about leakage?

Many breastfeeding mothers are concerned with leaking breast milk on their man during a lovemaking session – either because it’s time to nurse and they’re full, or because stimulation or arousal might cause your milk to let down.

One solution is to time it so that you and your husband head up to the bedroom right after you nurse your baby, so that your breasts are empty and, depending on the circumstances, your baby might even sleep while you guys have a little alone time!

Another option – and this is a good one if you’re trying to institute a hands-off policy – is to wear a bra or nursing tank top (and don’t forget the nursing pads!). That way, if you’re caught off-guard, at least the milk bath is contained, and having that worry off your mind might help you to relax that much more.

I hope that helps ease your mind (and your husband’s) a bit about breastfeeding and sex – now, go have fun!

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